marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
