She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
two words: eviction party
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
