I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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