The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
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My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
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They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize