Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize