Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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