in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
smell my finger.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
