The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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