As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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