Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
