So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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