I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Sober January is a disaster.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
