I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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