He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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