Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
