I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
