I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
