Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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