I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
