You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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