Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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