R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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