i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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