Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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