I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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