oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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