you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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