Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
