bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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