wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize