i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
