Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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