the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
