Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
