God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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