he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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