O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
