my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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