): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
