I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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