i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
