operation harelip BJ is a go
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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