My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
