So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Drunk is a universal language darling
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
