I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
