is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
