I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
