I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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