"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
