we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Dicks are not precious.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
