I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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