Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
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he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
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halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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