I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We have started to decorate penises.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
