Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
