Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
