xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Randomize
