I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize