you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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