i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He uses pillows to masturbate.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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