I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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