not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
