Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
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Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
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MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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