remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize